Melancholy
Days go by and I still feel worse than ever.
Sadness overwhelms me.
There is no remedy for my condition.
I wake up withan optimistic attitude that everything’s going to be different, and that on that day I
would take everything back and start new once again. I wake up thinking that I am going to make a difference because I want to live that day as if it was the first day of my life. Every day I want to change the way I am and the way I act towards others. I want to be friendly and make something of my time when being spent around people.
But that’s not what happens.
I am confronted with the harsh realities of life. I snap out of my optimistic utopian dream and the world gives me a big slap in the face. I cannot do these things and change the way I am because I am trapped in a world which makes it hard for me to change. Worst of all, everywhere I look, I see the social hierarchy built within society that is inescapable. It is within all of my peers and they have all been labeled. It is a hierarchy which is unforgiving and relentless. It is fierce and painful. It takes you in and spits you out like nothing but a dirty little pawn in this game called life. There’s nothing you can do about it. You will always have a spot on this hierarchy ladder and it’s difficult to maintain or upgrade your position on it. This social hierarchy between social groups and friends will follow you until the end of your lives and the confines of society hinder you from making a difference in your life and the life of others.
Every day my life is haunted by the mistakes I’ve done in the past – all of which I was supposed to learn from. We grow up thinking that we’re supposed to make mistakes and learn from them right? So making mistakes should be okay because it’s part of life and they’re not easily avoided. It seems that as each day goes by, I make even more mistakes and I suffer their repercussions.
Hours go by and I still feel like I’m not reaching my full potential.
Days go by and I still feel like I’m losing touch with my friends.
Weeks go by and I still feel like I have no control over my life.
Months go by and I still feel hopeless.
Years go by and these feelings never end…
Tags: Life
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